Hello and good day to you, fine sir or madam! Random Rambles is a non-regular feature at Words in a Teacup where we take the time to talk about those things on our minds that are (often) unrelated to books but desperately need voicing. This time, as you can glean from the banner above:
How to manage work and blogging
Short answer: I don’t.
Guess who’s tired?
Yep, you got it. It’s this gal.
It’s 1:30pm on a fine Sunday and I’m currently sitting in bed pondering my life and how other people do it. School (and college and uni) has started again for a lot of bloggers and I am in awe of those who still manage to find time to read and blog. Same with those who work full-time. I. Am. In. Awe. Because I fail to do the same. I should be writing a review right now, one that I’ve been postponing for a while now, but I just cannot muster the motivation. I didn’t even get around to reading Harry Potter for my HP feature…
I recently started full-time work in a bakery as an apprentice.
You know, in the front-end part of a bakery selling stuff, not in the baking part, though we do get raw breadrolls and pretzel sticks that we bake freshly in our shop. I love my new job. It’s exhausting and stressful and I work in an area where people are particularly full of themselves and arrogant about it and I work six days a week (except from August 25th on I will go to school two days a week) but I love it. I made some bad decisions in the past and I’m very glad to have this opportunity now. And I mean, in a bakery… All. That. Food. It’s a bit like heaven.
I am also terrified. There are a lot of expectations and because I’m doing pretty well, it makes me all the more terrified that I might eff it all up somehow. I’ve got a four-month-long probation period during which they can fire me at any time. I know I’m good at what I do once I’ve learned how to do it (I have yet to master doing specific things at the same time — like preparing the raw breadrolls for the oven and simultaneously filling already baked breadrolls so we can sell them… there’s some sort of time magic behind that process, I’m sure of it), but that doesn’t take away the sheer horror of possibly making mistakes.
I think my saving grace so far is that I’ve worked in retail before. And that the other apprentice keeps messing up all the time, which makes me shine. I feel like a horrible person for that. When I started my new job, the shop manager was still on holiday and the other two colleagues I worked with sort of eased me into it. I’ve been properly cautioned not to catch the shop manager on the wrong foot because she can apparently dig into you quite well. So far I haven’t witnessed anything like that from her, but that just makes it a little bit more stressful. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for my mess-ups to be noticed, waiting to be chewed out (… that damn coffee machine and I are never going to be friends, I swear.)
It doesn’t help that I’ve got the worst crush on my shop manager and keep being awfully cheeky with her because I cannot in fact behave like a normal human being.
But you know, besides all that pressure, besides knowing that they expect me to run the shop alone in the afternoons come the second week of September (oh dear god, I am absolutely terrified), I really do love my new job. It’s fun.
What’s not fun is how little time I have these days. I expect the school days to be less exhausting — my shop manager already prepared me for the possibility of unbearable boredom because I not only had the qualifications for uni, but also because I’m 24 and most other apprentices are six to eight years younger than I am — but it doesn’t take away the fact that I get up at 2:50am on early shift days. When I come home at around noon on those days, I’m just glad to get out of my car because I will start shutting down around that time. Once I’m home don’t expect me to be capable of anything. Late shift days aren’t much better. I might get more sleep, but I probably have to go to bed at 9pm at the latest on those days because usually our shifts alternate. :(
I miss being able to do stuff. Oh, I’m still around. You’ll probably find me on twitter or tumblr (especially on Thursdays because that’s when I usually watch Great British Bake Off and then proceed to reblog all the things). In fact, you’ll definitely find me on twitter. You should come and find me on twitter and talk to me and stop me from napping, actually. (You should drop me a line who you are though because I’ll probably just miss it otherwise and you will be sad and I will sad and everybody will be sad and we do not want that, do we?) Also to become friends with me. I’m awesome and complain about being tired, swoon over fitting clothes (it’s a miracle when that happens) and generally tweet a lot of random useless stuff. No regrets. Sorry, but I’m not sorry at all.
But I miss being awake enough to concentrate on reading. I miss talking to people that I used to talk to all the time. My new work has brought me closer to my besties again because now we have stuff to talk about (
mainly the stupid crush on my shop manager but you know…), but I rarely talk to Ren now. And I miss Ren terribly. Ren, fyi, I miss you loads and love you more than bread week, even though this year’s bread week was not as good as all the past bread weeks. And I almost never talk to the one friend I used to talk to all the time simply because by the time she gets online I’m already in bed. It is the curse of working cruel hours.
I feel a little bit bad for dropping the ball in regards to blogging, but I hope I’ll manage to be around in other ways. I hope that school days will leave me with some much needed reading time, but I might just be even more invisible than I’ve already been lately. But now you know why I’ve been so inactive lately and why it looks like Ren is running this show on her own.
Hint: it’s because she is. (Well. More inactive than usually, anyhow. I’ve been rarely commenting on things as it is but now all I see are walls of text and I simply cannot focus on the content, no matter how hard I try. It’s not you, it’s me, I swear. Plus, I’m not the best conversationalist in general, that’s more Ren’s forte. ;) I am blessed to have her, honestly.)
And now I’ll just lie down to nap or something.